Melt and cook 3 minutes the first 5 ingredients (butter, sugar, cocoa, vanilla and egg). Add next 3 ingredients (graham cracker crumbs, coconut, and milk) stirring well. Remove from heat and press into a 9 x 9" pan. Cool.
Add all ingredients (butter, milk, vanilla pudding powder and powdered sugar) into a medium size bowl or stand mixer bowl and mix well. Spread on cooled first layer.
Melt chocolate and butter over low heat. Spread on top of second layer.