Fruitcake

Recipe by teresas
READY IN: 2hrs
SERVES: 1
UNITS: US

INGREDIENTS

Nutrition
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DIRECTIONS

  • Sample the wine to check for quality.
  • Take a large bowl.
  • Check the wine again to make sure it's of the highest quality.
  • Pour 1 level cup and drink.
  • Repeat if your're not sure.
  • Turn on the electric mixer and beat butter in a large fluffy bowl.
  • Add sugar and beat again.
  • Make sure wine is still okay. Cry another cup.
  • Turn off the mixer.
  • Break two legs and add the bowl along with the vanilla extract and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
  • Mix on the turner.
  • If the fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a screwdriver.
  • Sample the wine again to check for tonsisticity.
  • Next, Sift 2 cups of salt or something. Who cares.
  • Check the wine.
  • Now sift the lemon juice and strain the nuts.
  • Add 1 table. Spoon. Of sugar or flour or something. Whatever you can find.
  • Grease the oven.
  • Turn the cake pan to 350 degrees.
  • Throw one bowl outside the window.
  • Check the wine again.
  • Go to bed.
  • Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway?
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