Phyllis Elias's Note:
Christmas Cake is one of the traditional joys of the holiday season - but it also fills the producer with terror - in case it isn't perfect. This is the antidote, and is exactly what you need for Christmas - a laugh!
My Private Note
Units: US | Metric
- 1Sample the Vodka to check quality.
- 2Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again.
- 3to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
- 5Turn on the electric mixer.
- 6Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
- 7Add one teaspoon sugar.
- 8Beat again.
- 9At this point it is best to make sure that the Vodka is shtill OK.
- 10try another cup-- just in case.
- 11Turn off the mixerer.
- 12Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in a cup of dried fruit.
- 13Pick fruit up off floor.
- 14Mix on the turner.
- 15If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
- 16Sample the Vodka to check for tonsisticity.
- 17Next sift two cups of salt.
- 18Or something.
- 19Who giveshz a whip.
- 20Check the Vodka.
- 21Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
- 22Add one table.
- 23Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
- 24Whatever you can find.
- 25Greash the oven.
- 26Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
- 27Don't forget to beat off the turner.
- 28Finally throw the bowl through the window, finish the Vodka and kick the cat.
- 29Cherry Mistmas!
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Nutritional Facts for Christmas Cake
Serving Size: 1 (483 g)
Servings Per Recipe: 4
- Amount Per Serving
- % Daily Value
- Calories 1553.0
- Calories from Fat 49
- Total Fat 5.4 g
- Saturated Fat 1.5 g
- Cholesterol 211.5 mg
- Sodium 1011.4 mg
- Total Carbohydrate 172.4 g
- Dietary Fiber 8.3 g
- Sugars 103.2 g
- Protein 8.9 g