Prep 1 hr
Cook 4 hrs
Christmas Cake is one of the traditional joys of the holiday season - but it also fills the producer with terror - in case it isn't perfect. This is the antidote, and is exactly what you need for Christmas - a laugh!
- 1 cup water
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 cup sugar
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 cup brown sugar
- lemon juice
- 4 large eggs
- 1 (1500 ml) bottle vodka
- 2 cups dried fruit
- Sample the Vodka to check quality.
- Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again.
- to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
- Turn on the electric mixer.
- Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
- Add one teaspoon sugar.
- Beat again.
- At this point it is best to make sure that the Vodka is shtill OK.
- try another cup-- just in case.
- Turn off the mixerer.
- Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in a cup of dried fruit.
- Pick fruit up off floor.
- Mix on the turner.
- If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
- Sample the Vodka to check for tonsisticity.
- Next sift two cups of salt.
- Or something.
- Who giveshz a whip.
- Check the Vodka.
- Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
- Add one table.
- Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
- Whatever you can find.
- Greash the oven.
- Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
- Don't forget to beat off the turner.
- Finally throw the bowl through the window, finish the Vodka and kick the cat.
- Cherry Mistmas!
Made me laugh out loud!
Love it..I needed the laugh! Thanks for posting!
Now, I can't say that I've tried it yet (too many little kids running around these days) but I will! :-) Thank you so much for such a funny recipe, makes my day every time I read it!