Christmas Cake

Recipe by Phyllis Elias
MAKE IT SHINE! ADD YOUR PHOTO
READY IN: 5hrs
SERVES: 4-6
YIELD: 1 cake
UNITS: US

INGREDIENTS

Nutrition
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DIRECTIONS

  • Sample the Vodka to check quality.
  • Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again.
  • to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
  • Repeat.
  • Turn on the electric mixer.
  • Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
  • Add one teaspoon sugar.
  • Beat again.
  • At this point it is best to make sure that the Vodka is shtill OK.
  • try another cup-- just in case.
  • Turn off the mixerer.
  • Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in a cup of dried fruit.
  • Pick fruit up off floor.
  • Mix on the turner.
  • If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
  • Sample the Vodka to check for tonsisticity.
  • Next sift two cups of salt.
  • Or something.
  • Who giveshz a whip.
  • Check the Vodka.
  • Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
  • Add one table.
  • Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
  • Whatever you can find.
  • Greash the oven.
  • Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
  • Don't forget to beat off the turner.
  • Finally throw the bowl through the window, finish the Vodka and kick the cat.
  • Cherry Mistmas!
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