Written in the Asparagus: English Woman Claims to Read Future

So far, she has predicted Brexit, Bitcoin and royal babies.

By Ethan L. Johns
May 08, 2018

Image: Mint Images/Getty Images

The Today Show has called her “the Beyoncé of predicting the future through asparagus.” We could end this article right now, but we won’t.

Jemima Packington is the world’s only “asparamancer.” Using a handful of asparagus spears, she reads the future like others would read tea leaves. And in 2018, she has made some pretty upsetting predictions.

How does she do it? Packington grabs fresh English asparagus spears, throws them into the air, then lets them fall to the ground. Then, using the shapes and patterns formed by the spears, she interprets a question.

So far, Packington has been correct about the Bitcoin bubble bursting (which was, to be fair, inevitable); she has also been correct about post-Brexit economic patterns in the U.K. She predicted for 2018 that earthquakes and volcanic eruptions would occur, which came to pass last week in Hawaii. She also has predicted that Theresa May will be removed from office this year, and that the United States will bring the world to the brink of intense conflict, unless other nations can intervene successfully.

Dark times, it seems. At least she also believes that the paper book will triumph over the e-book in 2018.

“I take what I do seriously but I never take myself seriously,” Packington says of her asparamancing, according to the New York Post.
Packington claims that she is generally 80 to 90 percent accurate in her predictions. But perhaps the best thing that comes out of all of it? Dinner.

“The good thing is, once we’ve finished the reading, you can then take the asparagus home, run it under the faucet, and then cook it and eat it,” she told NBC’s Harry Smith in an interview.

Roast it, wrap it in bacon or gribiche it; any way you cook it, we can get behind it.

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About Ethan L. Johns

Ethan is the Food News Writer at Genius Kitchen. An expert on the Parisian bistrot, he likes bitters and salted butters, and is no fan of dessert unless it's made with fruit. His hobbies include reading up on the history of borscht and attempting to roll perfect couscous by hand. Twits & Instagram @EthanLJohns