Drink All Day with Cuervo’s 'Cincocise' Coach, James Van Der Beek

Cinco de Mayo is on a Saturday, which means hydrate, satiate and tolerate.

By Ethan L. Johns
May 03, 2018

Image: Jose Cuervo

If you hadn’t already figured it out, Cinco de Mayo is on a Saturday this year, which means people will be celebrating harder and longer with tequila.

Jose Cuervo, producer of tequila, is aware that their sales levels are about to spike. So, to keep people drinking tequila “all day and all night”—and perhaps out of some sense of social responsibility—the brand enlisted coach James Van Der Beek to teach drinkers a bit of “Cincocise.”

Is that like jazzercise, you might be asking? Sure, if you replace the jazz hands with the tequila shooting.

In a series of 15-second spots, Van Der Beek explains the basics tenets of Cincocise, because after all, if you drink alcohol irresponsibly, it can kill you.

The first step of the Cincocise workout program is hydration, because all-day tequila drinking is a marathon, not a sprint. The second step is nourishment, because the more avocados you eat, the less hangry you’ll be. Finally, endurance is key, so grab a coffee and keep the party going so you can buy more tequila.

Each step has recommended cocktails (don’t forget good, old-fashioned H2O), including hydrating Coconut Margaritas, filling Bloody Marias and energizing Cuervo Cold Brews.

Cincocise might even help you forget that Cinco de May is actually a celebration of the Mexican victory over the French at the 1862 Battle of Puebla, and not just a holiday co-opted by Americans for the purpose of drinking tequila and eating guacamole.

What’s that? You had already forgotten that? It’s alright, we’re already planning ahead to Bastille Day.

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About Ethan L. Johns

Ethan is the Food News Writer at Genius Kitchen. An expert on the Parisian bistrot, he likes bitters and salted butters, and is no fan of dessert unless it's made with fruit. His hobbies include reading up on the history of borscht and attempting to roll perfect couscous by hand. Twits & Instagram @EthanLJohns