Wholly Guacamole

Recipe by Mark H.
READY IN: 20mins


  • 6
    avocados (soft, but not mushy)
  • 2 -4
    garlic cloves, minced (depends on how much you like garlic)
  • 1
    lime, cut in half
  • 1
    medium tomatoes, diced
  • 12
    medium onion, diced
  • chopped cilantro (optional)
  • 1
    diced jalapeno peppers (optional) or 1 diced serrano pepper (optional)


  • Cut avocados in half, remove pit, and spoon avocado into a mixing bowl.
  • Add minced garlic and squeeze the juice from one-half of the lime into the bowl of avocado.
  • Mash the ingredients together to desired consistency using the back of a large spoon or a potato masher (some like the avocado chunky, some like it smoother).
  • Fold in diced tomato and diced onion, a couple pinches of salt, and the juice from the remaining lime half (Also add cilantro or peppers at this time).
  • Cover the bowl and refrigerate for 30-45 minutes.
  • Uncover and taste.
  • Add salt as needed.
  • If you don't give the resulting guacamole at least 4 stars, then you ain't making it right.
  • NOTE: The purpose of the lime is to allow any leftover guacamole to retain its "avocado" color as it sits in the fridge.
  • Some folks use lemon, but it's been my experience that if you accidentally add too much lemon, it seriously affects the guacamole's flavor; if you happen to add too much lime, the guacamole just gets a little more tangy.
  • If you find the leftover guacamole has darkened, simply stir it before eating and use more fresh lime juice next time.
  • Wholly guacamole may be used as a topper with tacos, enchiladas, fajitas, etc.
  • However, some say it is at its best with a bowl of warm tortilla chips and an ice cold beer.


@Mark H.
“This is a true Tex-Mex recipe concocted by a distant relative stationed at the Alamo nearly 160 years ago. According to family lore, he was out looking for some good tomatoes when Santa Ana attacked the now famous Texas landmark. Luckily, our relative kept this recipe in the lining of his coon-skin cap, and both he and his avocado dip lived to fight another day. Years later, near death from an infected Chihuahua bite, he looked deep into his son's eyes, and with his last breath, uttered the familiar phrase "Remember... the...guacamole."”