Cut the kernals from the cob and transfer to a medium bowl. Scrape the cobs with the back of a knife to collect the milk in the same bowl and set aside.
Toss the okra with the cornmeal in a large bowl until evenly coated. Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium high heat. Add the okra to the skillet(leaving the excess cornmeal behind) and fry until golden brown, about 2 minutes per side. Stir in the corn, tomatoes, water, and 1/2 t salt, bring to a simmer, then cook over medium-low heat until the tomatoes break down, most of the liquid has evaporated, and and the sauce becomes very thick, 45 to 55 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper to taste.