Cake from Portal

Recipe by Tachikoma
READY IN: 2hrs 40mins




  • This recipe is simple, it just takes a lot of ingredients and mixing/sitting around time to complete. Pop in a movie while making the cake to help pass the time.
  • This recipe can easily be made for those who do not consume dairy by making sure the frosting and cake mix you use do not contain dairy. Which is easily done, I being dairy intolerant myself.
  • And lastly, this cake is for fun. It is for the nerd in all of us that just wants to sit down with a bunch of friends, and eat. This cake is perfect for that. Heck, you could all bring food and call it a Lies and Deceit Pot Luck, and LAN your way through the meal!
  • Warning to the wise: this cake is VERY rich. Don't cut it into eight slices, cut it into sixteen. Regular sized slices will just make people sick to their stomachs because of how rich this cake is. So do eat carefully.
  • The night before, mix 2/3c cocoa powder with 1.5 cans of vanilla frosting. Save the remaining half can of vanilla frosting for later.
  • Next day: remove mixed frosting and vanilla frosting from the fridge and set to the side. Also place the cherries and chocolate chips to the side. They will not be used until the cake is completely done.
  • Pre-heat over to 375 degrees F.
  • Lightly butter two 9 inch cake pans.
  • In one bowl combine all remaining dry ingredients.
  • In larger bowl, combine all liquid ingredients and egg whites. Mix thoroughly.
  • Slowly sift dry ingredients into the large bowl of liquid ingredients. Mix thoroughly.
  • Pour half of the batter into one prepared cake pan, and the rest into the second cake pan.
  • Cook for 30+ minutes, until a knife can be removed cleanly from the cake.
  • When done cooking, allow the cake to cool for at least one hour.
  • Remove top quarter inch from one cake round. Basically, let it have a completely flat top so that the second layer can rest smoothly on top. I suggest using a bread knife.
  • Use the coconut frosting as the inner layer.
  • Place second layer on top of first layer.
  • Frost with the cocoa powder mixed frosting. Warning: this stuff is stiff, so it takes a little work.
  • Coat entire cake with chocolate chips, press them lightly into the frosting to get them to stay. The recipe suggests one cup, I would suggest just taking from the bag. Measurements are just suggestions for chocolate chips.
  • Using the remaining vanilla frosting and a tablespoon, dallop eight circles around the top of the cake.
  • Place the eight cherries on top of the eight vanilla frosting circles.
  • Treat your friends to a meal of Lies and Deceit. ^.^.