Phoenix Stadium to Serve $75 Burger Stuffed with 5 Different Meats

If you can finish it in under one hour… well then, good for you.

By Ethan L. Johns
August 09, 2018

Image: Arizona Cardinals/Instagram

Prepare to either get hungrier, or to lose your appetite indefinitely.

On Wednesday, the Arizona Cardinals and Craft Culinary Concepts (which deals with food services at the University of Phoenix Stadium) unveiled a behemoth of a sandwich for the NFL’s upcoming season: a seven-pound, $75 “Gridiron Burger” with an eating challenge to go with it.

If you think you can tackle it, just think again, because that’s objectively absurd.

Don’t believe us? Well, the ingredient list includes three third-pound hamburger patties, five all-beef hot dogs, five bratwurst sausages, 20 slices of yellow American cheese, eight slices of bacon, eight chicken tenders, 12 ounces of french fries, tomatoes, pickles, something called “tanker sauce,” a 10-inch bun and, in what could be seen as a sick and twisted joke, shredded iceberg lettuce.

According to the Arizona Republic, the chefs still haven’t figured out how many calories are contained between those two slices of bread. But by Genius Kitchen’s expert estimation, it’s likely more than you should be eating in a week.

If by some miracle you do manage to finish eating seven pounds of meat, potatoes and processed cheese in under one hour, you will have won the contest, and will receive a free Cards jersey for your valiant accomplishment. You’ll also get your photo hung up on the wall.

In what should be seen as an omen, the three staff members that attempted the challenge were all unable to complete it, and one of them was too sick to work the next day.

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About Ethan L. Johns

Ethan is the Food News Writer at Genius Kitchen. An expert on the Parisian bistrot, he likes bitters and salted butters, and is no fan of dessert unless it's made with fruit. His hobbies include reading up on the history of borscht and attempting to roll perfect couscous by hand. Twits & Instagram @EthanLJohns