Baseball Fan Receives Replacement Nachos

The gift to end all gifts.

By Ethan L. Johns
September 27, 2017

Image: Getty

It was the bottom of the second inning on Monday at Busch Stadium in St. Louis, home of the Cardinals, when Chicago Cubs shortstop Addison Russell took a dive into the stands, trying to snag a foul ball. Before you could say Cracker Jack, television cameras recorded a nacho-splash, as Russell’s flailing limbs kicked a fan’s tortilla-tastic snack and sent it flying into the air.

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When Russell emerged, his arm was covered in an eerily yellow cheese-sauce, and Andrew Gudermuth, Cardinals fan, was without nachos. Sad. It wasn’t long, though, before a freshly cleaned-up Russell trotted over bearing gifts. New nachos! We didn’t realize there were nacho machines in the dugouts, and now we want to play professional ball. Russell paused for a selfie before jogging back onto the field.

Such a spectacular loss of nachos at Busch Stadium is not-cho average laughing matter: a regular carton of crispy chippies with cheese and jalapenos will set you back $7.25, whereas if you choose to get a Nacho Helmet with taco meat, nacho cheese, salsa and jalapenos, you’re going to be taco-shelling out a calm, cool and collected $17.50. What’s that, you might be wondering? It’s an order of nachos that comes in a plastic helmet, which, after the nachos have been consumed and the fake cheese has been licked clean, can be placed on the avid baseball fan’s head. Oh, and it’s gluten free.

The real moral of this story is that both sides, Cardinals and Cubs, were able to come together… over over-priced stadium nachos with cheese sauce that is arguably not real food. Now that is what America’s national pastime is all about.

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About Ethan L. Johns

Ethan is the Food News Writer at Genius Kitchen. An expert on the Parisian bistrot, he likes bitters and salted butters, and is no fan of dessert unless it's made with fruit. His hobbies include reading up on the history of borscht and attempting to roll perfect couscous by hand. Twits & Instagram @EthanLJohns