(originally written by Lisa the dog, whose picture no longer appears on this page) My human mom has lived around the Western US but was raised in the SF Bay Area and now lives in Portland, OR, with my awesome human dad, my evil twin sister Mona, our two cat brothers and our psycho kitten sister. We all love to fish and camp, our human parents like to host parties and get-togethers, Mona and I like to eat assorted non-food items, and Baxter, Spazzbo and Treasure like to sleep (I hope they don't get paid much because that's all they ever do). Mom's mother and grandmother are her biggest cooking influences. Our mom, like her grandmother, loves to read cookbooks (even when she should really be outside playing with me and Mona). Is that grounds for dog abuse? Should I get a lawyer?