My Favorite Turkey Recipe

Total Time
4hrs 2mins
Prep 2 mins
Cook 4 hrs

Once you try this recipe, I would be willing to bet that you never go back to your old ways of preparing a turkey again! Enjoy!

Ingredients Nutrition

  • 20 lbs turkey
  • 750 ml wine (your choice, I like Chardonnay)


  1. Buy a turkey.
  2. Have a glass of wine.
  3. Stuff the turkey.
  4. Have a glass of wine.
  5. Share a 3/4 cup of wine with the turkey.
  6. Put turkey into the oven.
  7. Have a few more glasses of wine.
  8. Turk the bastey.
  9. Wine of glass the another get.
  10. Ponder the meat thermometer.
  11. Glass yourself another pour of wine.
  12. Bake the wine for 4 hours.
  13. Take the oven out of the turkey.
  14. Floor the turkey up off the pick.
  15. Turk the carvey.
  16. Get yourself another wottle of bine.
  17. Tet the sable & pour yourself another glass of turkey.
  18. Say grace, throw up & pass out.
  19. Enjoy!


Most Helpful

I substituted liver for turkey and wine for vodka. I don't think these minor adjustments affected the flavor of the original recipe. I would not serve to company. 1 star.

Pot Scrubber August 19, 2016

Awesome recipe! No more plain old turkey for this old gal -

Okra November 26, 2014

Rosie, this sounds fabulous! Love your sense of humour!

mums the word November 29, 2013

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