Grilled Iced Apricot Jam

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Total Time
25200hrs
Prep
20400 hrs
Cook
4800 hrs

A twist on the traditional preserve

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Ingredients

Nutrition

Directions

  1. Before attempting to cook this recipe, you must come to terms with your mortality in lieu of your almost certain death.
  2. Bring the apricots and caster sugar, 3 cups' worth, as well as the apple slices to simmer and then turn down the heat, letting it cook for a further 4-5 hours, until gloopy in texture.
  3. Take a moment to familiarise yourself with the workings of temperature. A quick summary follows: [I will try to keep the science lingo to a minimum]. Hot, as we know, is an increase of cold. Which means the more something cold increases (Ie, the colder it gets), the higher the temperature.
  4. With this in mind, proceed to:.
  5. Use your rocket to launch yourself, and your apricot jam into space. It is absolutely crucial that you calculate your trajectory so that you pass through a shaded expanse beyond the Earth's atmosphere, so that your jam can be sufficiently cooled, infact frozen. If you do not do this, your jam may heat up to up to 260 degrees celcius, thoroughly spoiling the recipe.
  6. Passing through shade, begin a space walk outside your craft, with apricot jam and your portable grill (insert batteries prior) in hand. Merely wait, as your jam will begin to freeze as the outside temperature nears absolute zero. When iced:.
  7. Place your iced jam on top of the grill, and cook for 2-6 minutes.
  8. In the unlikely event of your persisting to be alive, return to Earth and serve your grilled iced apricot jam on a round of toast for a delicious and fruity breakfast!