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    You are in: Home / Recipes / Fruitcake Recipe
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    Fruitcake

    Fruitcake. Photo by IngridH

    1/1 Photo of Fruitcake

    Total Time:

    Prep Time:

    Cook Time:

    2 hrs

    2 hrs

    0 mins

    TeresaS's Note:

    Not an actual recipe.

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    Ingredients:

    Servings:

    Units: US | Metric

    Directions:

    1. 1
      Sample the wine to check for quality.
    2. 2
      Take a large bowl.
    3. 3
      Check the wine again to make sure it's of the highest quality.
    4. 4
      Pour 1 level cup and drink.
    5. 5
      Repeat if your're not sure.
    6. 6
      Turn on the electric mixer and beat butter in a large fluffy bowl.
    7. 7
      Add sugar and beat again.
    8. 8
      Make sure wine is still okay. Cry another cup.
    9. 9
      Turn off the mixer.
    10. 10
      Break two legs and add the bowl along with the vanilla extract and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
    11. 11
      Mix on the turner.
    12. 12
      If the fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a screwdriver.
    13. 13
      Sample the wine again to check for tonsisticity.
    14. 14
      Next, Sift 2 cups of salt or something. Who cares.
    15. 15
      Check the wine.
    16. 16
      Now sift the lemon juice and strain the nuts.
    17. 17
      Add 1 table. Spoon. Of sugar or flour or something. Whatever you can find.
    18. 18
      Grease the oven.
    19. 19
      Turn the cake pan to 350 degrees.
    20. 20
      Throw one bowl outside the window.
    21. 21
      Check the wine again.
    22. 22
      Go to bed.
    23. 23
      Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway?

    Browse Our Top Dessert Recipes

    Ratings & Reviews:

    • on February 02, 2010

      55

      Probably the only fruitcake recipe I'd ever try. he,he,he Thanks for bringing a smile to my face!

      person found this review Helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes | No
    • on December 07, 2009

      55

      I love these kind of "recipes", very cute

      person found this review Helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes | No
    • on November 29, 2009

      55

      so funny! Thanks for posting!

      person found this review Helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes | No

    Read All Reviews (15)

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    Nutritional Facts for Fruitcake

    Serving Size: 1 (5705 g)

    Servings Per Recipe: 1

    Amount Per Serving
    % Daily Value
    Calories 9436.4
     
    Calories from Fat 2503
    26%
    Total Fat 278.2 g
    428%
    Saturated Fat 132.8 g
    664%
    Cholesterol 1232.0 mg
    410%
    Sodium 6747.3 mg
    281%
    Total Carbohydrate 1021.1 g
    340%
    Dietary Fiber 52.4 g
    209%
    Sugars 451.7 g
    1806%
    Protein 90.0 g
    180%

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