Prep 2 hrs
Cook 0 mins
Not an actual recipe.
- 1 cup water
- 1 cup butter
- 1 cup sugar
- 4 large eggs
- 2 cups dried fruit
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 2 cups flour
- 1 tablespoon lemon juice
- 1 cup nuts, chopped
- 1 gallon wine
- Sample the wine to check for quality.
- Take a large bowl.
- Check the wine again to make sure it's of the highest quality.
- Pour 1 level cup and drink.
- Repeat if your're not sure.
- Turn on the electric mixer and beat butter in a large fluffy bowl.
- Add sugar and beat again.
- Make sure wine is still okay. Cry another cup.
- Turn off the mixer.
- Break two legs and add the bowl along with the vanilla extract and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
- Mix on the turner.
- If the fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a screwdriver.
- Sample the wine again to check for tonsisticity.
- Next, Sift 2 cups of salt or something. Who cares.
- Check the wine.
- Now sift the lemon juice and strain the nuts.
- Add 1 table. Spoon. Of sugar or flour or something. Whatever you can find.
- Grease the oven.
- Turn the cake pan to 350 degrees.
- Throw one bowl outside the window.
- Check the wine again.
- Go to bed.
- Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway?
Probably the only fruitcake recipe I'd ever try. he,he,he Thanks for bringing a smile to my face!
I love these kind of "recipes", very cute
so funny! Thanks for posting!