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    You are in: Home / Community Forums / Community Cafe / Spat w/neighbor and need your opinion
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    Spat w/neighbor and need your opinion

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    Luby Luby Luby
    Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:37 pm
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    Pot Scrubber wrote:
    Don't feud over a hoe worth $20 bucks. You have to live next door to each other for many more years and it ain't worth it.

    Just forget about it and go on with your friendship.


    What he said!
    Ann Marie F
    Sun Apr 14, 2013 12:09 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    Luby Luby Luby wrote:
    Pot Scrubber wrote:
    Don't feud over a hoe worth $20 bucks. You have to live next door to each other for many more years and it ain't worth it.

    Just forget about it and go on with your friendship.


    What he said!

    I suspect it isn't the $20 bucks, it's the dishonesty and the loss of trust. The neighbor tried to trick her by sneaking the broken thing back into her yard without a word, which was dishonest. In essence the neighbor lied to her until she was confronted. When you loose trust in a relationship - any relationship - you've lost a lot.

    I'd let go of the anger because hanging on to it would only hurt myself. I'd smile and act friendly, but it would never be the same. If the neighbor had the gall to ask to borrow anything again I'd find some polite way to decline.
    Stella Mae
    Mon Apr 15, 2013 12:13 am
    Food.com Groupie
    Ann Marie F wrote:
    Luby Luby Luby wrote:
    Pot Scrubber wrote:
    Don't feud over a hoe worth $20 bucks. You have to live next door to each other for many more years and it ain't worth it.

    Just forget about it and go on with your friendship.


    What he said!

    I suspect it isn't the $20 bucks, it's the dishonesty and the loss of trust. The neighbor tried to trick her by sneaking the broken thing back into her yard without a word, which was dishonest. In essence the neighbor lied to her until she was confronted. When you loose trust in a relationship - any relationship - you've lost a lot.

    I'd let go of the anger because hanging on to it would only hurt myself. I'd smile and act friendly, but it would never be the same. If the neighbor had the gall to ask to borrow anything again I'd find some polite way to decline.


    Yep!
    Pot Scrubber
    Mon Apr 15, 2013 12:47 am
    Food.com Groupie
    Stella Mae wrote:
    Ann Marie F wrote:
    Luby Luby Luby wrote:
    Pot Scrubber wrote:
    Don't feud over a hoe worth $20 bucks. You have to live next door to each other for many more years and it ain't worth it.

    Just forget about it and go on with your friendship.


    What he said!

    I suspect it isn't the $20 bucks, it's the dishonesty and the loss of trust. The neighbor tried to trick her by sneaking the broken thing back into her yard without a word, which was dishonest. In essence the neighbor lied to her until she was confronted. When you loose trust in a relationship - any relationship - you've lost a lot.

    I'd let go of the anger because hanging on to it would only hurt myself. I'd smile and act friendly, but it would never be the same. If the neighbor had the gall to ask to borrow anything again I'd find some polite way to decline.


    Yep!

    I just don't get being so angry over $20 bucks. I get the point if she was trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes, but I haven't heard both sides of the story. There must be something else I don't understand. If I broke my BFF neighbors's hoe I would laugh and giggle and say, "Sorry I broke your hoe..." Then we go out to lunch and have a good chuckle.

    You either forgive her and forget it and go back to your friendship or not. You can't be former best friends and suddenly just become amicable neighbors who wave to each other over the fence. It doesn't work that way.
    Stella Mae
    Mon Apr 15, 2013 2:44 am
    Food.com Groupie
    Pot Scrubber wrote:

    I just don't get being so angry over $20 bucks. I get the point if she was trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes, but I haven't heard both sides of the story. There must be something else I don't understand. If I broke my BFF neighbors's hoe I would laugh and giggle and say, "Sorry I broke your hoe..." Then we go out to lunch and have a good chuckle.

    You either forgive her and forget it and go back to your friendship or not. You can't be former best friends and suddenly just become amicable neighbors who wave to each other over the fence. It doesn't work that way.


    I'm not trying to be contentious, but to me the issue is not the money -- it's the dishonesty. I had an acquaintance who accidentally broke my rice cooker while helping me move. Instead of saying, *Hey, I'm sorry I broke your rice cooker,* she hid it behind some other things in my pantry. I think she thought that by the time I noticed it, I might think I was the one who had broken it. Honestly, I don't know what she thought. But it stuck with me that she was too dishonest to fess up. That told me a lot about her.
    Pot Scrubber
    Mon Apr 15, 2013 3:15 am
    Food.com Groupie
    I get your point... I really, do!

    I've already said too much and I am looking antagonistic even though I don't mean to be. I would have handled the situation much differently whether I was the one who broke the hoe or the one whose hoe was broken.

    I just can't imagine that anyone I consider a friend would try to hide something so insignificant and silly from me. They would know that I would just laugh it away with a wave of my hand and say, "Shit happens. Let's go to lunch."
    Lightly Toasted
    Tue Apr 16, 2013 4:30 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    Stella Mae wrote:
    Pot Scrubber wrote:

    I just don't get being so angry over $20 bucks. I get the point if she was trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes, but I haven't heard both sides of the story. There must be something else I don't understand. If I broke my BFF neighbors's hoe I would laugh and giggle and say, "Sorry I broke your hoe..." Then we go out to lunch and have a good chuckle.

    You either forgive her and forget it and go back to your friendship or not. You can't be former best friends and suddenly just become amicable neighbors who wave to each other over the fence. It doesn't work that way.


    I'm not trying to be contentious, but to me the issue is not the money -- it's the dishonesty. I had an acquaintance who accidentally broke my rice cooker while helping me move. Instead of saying, *Hey, I'm sorry I broke your rice cooker,* she hid it behind some other things in my pantry. I think she thought that by the time I noticed it, I might think I was the one who had broken it. Honestly, I don't know what she thought. But it stuck with me that she was too dishonest to fess up. That told me a lot about her.


    Totally agree. The dishonesty would have bothered me more than anything.

    As for the rice cooker---who knows what your friend was thinking, but friends who help you move are worth their weight in gold! icon_lol.gif
    Chicagoland Chef du Jour
    Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:14 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    Pot Scrubber wrote:


    ... I haven't heard both sides of the story. There must be something else I don't understand.

    You either forgive her and forget it and go back to your friendship or not.


    Personally, I am hung up on icon_arrow.gif "why did she trespass onto my property... (We live next door to each other & see one another many times during the day)"

    Do good friends or neighbors "trespass"? Strangers yes, friends?????
    Pot Scrubber
    Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:28 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    Chicagoland Chef du Jour wrote:
    Pot Scrubber wrote:


    ... I haven't heard both sides of the story. There must be something else I don't understand.

    You either forgive her and forget it and go back to your friendship or not.


    Personally, I am hung up on icon_arrow.gif "why did she trespass onto my property... (We live next door to each other & see one another many times during the day)"

    Do good friends or neighbors "trespass"? Strangers yes, friends?????

    I don't know... I should have just kept my big fat mouth shut instead of playing Devil's advocate. Who knows why the neighbor did what she did? It is all so strange the way it was handled IMO. I didn't mean to get anyone riled up, and no disrespect was intended to Carol G. She has valid concerns about the integrity of her neighbor, and it is unfortunate that something so silly has compromised their friendship between two neighbors who got along well.

    Peace, peeps.
    grouphug.gif
    Chicagoland Chef du Jour
    Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:20 am
    Food.com Groupie
    Pot Scrubber wrote:
    Chicagoland Chef du Jour wrote:
    Pot Scrubber wrote:


    ... I haven't heard both sides of the story. There must be something else I don't understand.

    You either forgive her and forget it and go back to your friendship or not.


    Personally, I am hung up on icon_arrow.gif "why did she trespass onto my property... (We live next door to each other & see one another many times during the day)"

    Do good friends or neighbors "trespass"? Strangers yes, friends?????

    I don't know... I should have just kept my big fat mouth shut instead of playing Devil's advocate. Who knows why the neighbor did what she did? It is all so strange the way it was handled IMO. I didn't mean to get anyone riled up, and no disrespect was intended to Carol G. She has valid concerns about the integrity of her neighbor, and it is unfortunate that something so silly has compromised their friendship between two neighbors who got along well.

    Peace, peeps.
    grouphug.gif


    Agreed. It's not worth losing a friend over or a good neighbor. I probably should have kept my mouth shut too, but she asked.

    Sometimes it takes another person's perspective to put "life" into perspective. It's all good.
    seashell
    Sat Apr 20, 2013 11:33 am
    Food.com Groupie
    There was an old expression that said not to be a borrower or a lender. I can't remember the exact words.
    Too many hard feelings when something isn't returned or it is not returned in the same condition. JMHO
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