Recipe Sifter

X
  • Start Here
    • Course
    • Main Ingredient
    • Cuisine
    • Preparation
    • Occasion
    • Diet
    • Nutrition
1

Select () or exclude () categories to narrow your recipe search.

2

As you select categories, the number of matching recipes will update.

Make some selections to begin narrowing your results.
  • Calories
  • Amount per serving
    1. Total Fat
    2. Saturated Fat
    3. Polyunsat. Fat
    4. Monounsat. Fat
    5. Trans Fat
  • Cholesterol
  • Sodium
  • Potassium
  • Total Carbohydrates
    1. Dietary Fiber
    2. Sugars
  • Protein
  • Vitamin A
  • Vitamin B6
  • Vitamin B12
  • Vitamin C
  • Calcium
  • Iron
  • Vitamin E
  • Magnesium
  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine
  • Find exactly what you're looking for with the web's most powerful recipe filtering tool.

    You are in: Home / Community Forums / Community Cafe / Spat w/neighbor and need your opinion
    Lost? Site Map

    Spat w/neighbor and need your opinion

    Go to page 1, 2  Next Page >>
    Carol G.
    Fri Apr 12, 2013 6:17 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    I know all of you Zaar folks are fair,unbiased & loyal to home & family, I need your opinion on a problem. I loaned my neighbor a garden hoe for a few days..she returned it to my fenced & gated back yard without my knowledge. When I went out to do my yard work the next day I found it in it's proper place however it was broken badly. I then went to Wal-Mart & bought a new one. I stayed quiet about the subject when we went shopping together the next day, by the day after I figured that I must confront her. I showed her the hoe & asked for payment of it. . She said she was very sorry, gave me a check & said she didn't know she had broken it. My take on the problem is..she had to have known the hoe was broken, it was VERY evident..why did she trespass onto my property & secretly return the hoe? (We live next door to each other & see one another many times during the day)..Why didn't she mention the fact that she had returned the hoe when we went shopping.? I told her during our shopping trip I had bought a new hoe the day before...she didn't even touch that subject. So now I'm still mad & it's a week later, I don't feel I can trust this woman again & don't really feel I want to be friends with her again. I will trust your valued opinions & thank you all in advance.
    K9 Owned
    Fri Apr 12, 2013 6:52 pm
    Forum Host
    My guess is that she was embarrassed. It doesn't make it right but nor do I think it worth getting hugely upset by it.

    If you enjoyed your previous relationship with her I would let it ride but perhaps not lend her anything in future. You have received a cheque to replace the hoe that was damaged and know a little bit more about her than you did. Most friends and neighbours have limitations. Enjoy what is good about it and let the rest go.

    Hey, you asked for opinions. icon_smile.gif
    Molly53
    Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:58 pm
    Forum Host
    Sounds like something you need to let go of, friend.

    If she gave you a check for the damage and apologized, it should be over.

    I don't believe I'd lend her anything else I valued, though.
    Zeldaz
    Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:09 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    Mad for a week? Give it up. You are both human and it's been resolved.
    *Parsley*
    Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:07 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    Not worth getting upset over, IMO.
    Anne~
    Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:34 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    I think the reason why you are upset about this is because you were forced into bringing it up to her since she didn't. I hate confrontations and I would be upset too, not because the she broke the hoe (I would gladly eat the cost to replace) but because you had to confront her with the issue. This type of thing makes me full of anxiety and then anger because I hate having to confront people about things and then I feel bad. Why do people put me in this kind of position. I would much rather have someone be upfront with me and I would just say "it's ok, I would probably have had the same problem with the hoe when I used it next, no need for you to pay for it".

    If I read this wrong, I apologize now...LOL! icon_lol.gif
    Becky in Wisconsin
    Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:21 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    Would you have been equally upset if she had come to you and not hid it? You feel lied to,because that is what she did. But, as others have said, it's over, let it go. You've had your say. She has paid you for the new one. All is right, well except for the betrayal.

    Good luck. Forgiveness will set YOU free! It's hard to hold onto stuff like that.
    Pot Scrubber
    Sat Apr 13, 2013 12:56 am
    Food.com Groupie
    Don't feud over a hoe worth $20 bucks. You have to live next door to each other for many more years and it ain't worth it.

    Just forget about it and go on with your friendship.
    Stella Mae
    Sat Apr 13, 2013 1:13 am
    Food.com Groupie
    You feel disrespected. It doesn't matter how your neighbor feels, because the issue here is not her feelings or behavior, nor the fact that she broke the hoe, etc. It is the fact that you and your property were not respected.

    It is unpleasant to confront someone, but you were right to do so. She has her own problems that have nothing to do with you, and now that you recognize that what is really eating you -- being disrespected -- you can let it go and get on with being friendly neighbors, again. But you have an advantage in that you are now aware of two things -- that it eats your lunch to be disrespected, and the knowledge that you do not need to put up with this kind of behavior. You are free. Don't lend her anything, again, but be friendly.
    Dib's
    Sat Apr 13, 2013 5:10 am
    Food.com Groupie
    Stella Mae wrote:
    You feel disrespected. It doesn't matter how your neighbor feels, because the issue here is not her feelings or behavior, nor the fact that she broke the hoe, etc. It is the fact that you and your property were not respected.

    It is unpleasant to confront someone, but you were right to do so. She has her own problems that have nothing to do with you, and now that you recognize that what is really eating you -- being disrespected -- you can let it go and get on with being friendly neighbors, again. But you have an advantage in that you are now aware of two things -- that it eats your lunch to be disrespected, and the knowledge that you do not need to put up with this kind of behavior. You are free. Don't lend her anything, again, but be friendly.


    I agree. You don't have to go back being super friendly-better to be able to wave at each other than have a silent feud with someone you do see every day.
    Okra
    Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:53 am
    Food.com Groupie
    Wow! You have received some really excellent advice here. My advice is to heed the others' advice.
    Buddy P
    Sat Apr 13, 2013 8:29 am
    Food.com Groupie
    If I loan something out, I know there is a good possibility it will be returned broken. If it is not broken, I am happy. If it is broken, I expected it and I either repair or replace it and not get upset.
    Chicagoland Chef du Jour
    Sat Apr 13, 2013 8:38 am
    Food.com Groupie
    Buddy P wrote:
    If I loan something out, I know there is a good possibility it will be returned broken. If it is not broken, I am happy. If it is broken, I expected it and I either repair or replace it and not get upset.


    Kind of like lending money. Don't lend it with the intent on getting it back.
    Only lend it if you will not miss it.
    Kathy228
    Sat Apr 13, 2013 9:07 am
    Food.com Groupie
    Anne~ wrote:
    I think the reason why you are upset about this is because you were forced into bringing it up to her since she didn't. I hate confrontations and I would be upset too, not because the she broke the hoe (I would gladly eat the cost to replace) but because you had to confront her with the issue. This type of thing makes me full of anxiety and then anger because I hate having to confront people about things and then I feel bad. Why do people put me in this kind of position. I would much rather have someone be upfront with me and I would just say "it's ok, I would probably have had the same problem with the hoe when I used it next, no need for you to pay for it".

    This is what I would feel too.
    She must really have been stressed/scared by secretly returning the hoe broken.

    Just let it go and enjoy her good traits.
    k
    Connie Lea
    Sat Apr 13, 2013 9:15 am
    Food.com Groupie
    You have gotten good advice. I hope you can just put it all behind you. Like someone said - you will be neighbors for a long time. It's not worth losing a friendship over.
    Go to page 1, 2  Next Page >> Stop sending e-mails when someone replies
    Add this to My Favorite Topics
    Alert us of inappropriate posts

    Free Weekly Newsletter

    Get the latest recipes and tips delivered right to your inbox.

    Your e-mail is safe. Privacy Policy
    Advertisement

    Ideas from Food.com

    Powered by phpBB 2.0.1 © 2002 phpBB Group

    Over 475,000 Recipes

    Food.com Network of Sites