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    You are in: Home / Community Forums / Holidays & Entertaining / Thanksgiving Epic Fails
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    Thanksgiving Epic Fails

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    lauralie41
    Sat Oct 13, 2012 12:22 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    v92 wrote:
    My dear grandparents, God love them, have pledged their loyalty to this HUGE black fallout shelter of a slow cooker. They use it every year for the turkey to save room in the oven. It usually results in a bird implosion. When they finally emerge from the sensory deprivation chamber they aren’t very pretty and are always a tad wet but edible. One year they decided that a whole turkey just was too much food and so they decided to buy the now infamous turkey loaf. After cooking in the poor, pale, sickly looking loaf for hours we finally scooped the contents out and plopped it on the platter and for the first time got a good look at the... loaf. Slimy is the best word I can use. Picture a six inch round sausage. It had some sort of film over it to keep it together which it did not and as I said before it was almost white. There was even an odor to it. It looked more like tofu than real meat. Actually thinking back maybe that’s what it was. It was hard to see an animal in that… thing. R. L. Stein would have enjoyed the inspiration. icon_wink.gif Thank goodness there was a brown sugar ham as well so we weren't eating cereal for Thanksgiving but they still get grief from the Year of the Loaf. icon_razz.gif


    v92 I am picturing the turkey loaf and I apologize now, all I can say is YUCK!! Thank goodness for the ham!! Is the crock pot still used every Thanksgiving?
    lauralie41
    Sat Oct 13, 2012 12:25 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    KelliSuzi wrote:
    When I was a kid, I went to my friend's house on the Wed. before Thanksgiving. We were sitting at the kitchen bar eating cookies and her mom was cleaning the kitchen and preparing the turkey. She had a sink full of dirty water from mopping the floor, and the turkey on the counter. She went to get a pan from behind the turkey, and there it went... sliding right into the dirty water in the sink. LOLOL My friend and I just about fell on the floor laughing because her mom was trying to pull an oiled 18 lb. turkey out of the sink. It seemed to take forever. I still get a giggle laughing about that memory. I can see it all play out just like it was yesterday.


    Oh my gosh I would have fell off the stool laughing too!! Did she end up making that turkey? Guess she could have rinsed it off real good and for a long time maybe. rotfl.gif rotfl.gif
    lauralie41
    Sat Oct 13, 2012 12:28 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    threeovens wrote:
    Thanksgiving falls smack dab in the middle od the US Postal Services busy season. Both my husband and I work for USPS, and back when the economy was better, we had tons of overtime. We lived 32 miles away from our sorting plant and they were in the midst of building an HOV lane on the Long Island Expressway, which caused massive traffic tie-ups. Anyway, I always insist on cooking a big Thanksgiving, even if it is for the two of us. I started cooking on Tuesday, but had to turn off the turkey so we could go to work. Got home late, turned the oven back on. Got sleepy, turned it off so I wouldn't burn down the apartment building.

    At any rate, it took literally 4 days to cook that bird! I don't know if it was technically "safe" to eat, but it sure was delicious!


    To funny threeovens! Thank you for sharing with us!
    lauralie41
    Sat Oct 13, 2012 12:33 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    threeovens wrote:
    Oh I am the Queen of Thanksgiving Epic Failures! It has been suggested in another forum that I not prepare Thanksgiving at all in the future.

    One year, I found a recipe in the local newspaper for a turnkey cooked in white wine. What a great idea! Not actually being a wine drinker at the time, I did buy a nice bottle of something dry and white. When I went to prepare the recipe, I found it only called for 1 cup of wine. Hmmm. What to do with the remainder? I know! I drank it. I swear I only sipped, but there did come a point in time when I got a trifle sleepy, shall we say? I went in the bedroom to rest a bit. Suddenly I smelled pies! Pies? Oh no! That means they are burning. I slipped on my slippers, stress the term slippers, and slid right on by the galley kitchen! I am told I landed with my head in the metal folding step stool (which for unknown reasons was propped up against the loveseat in the living room). All I know was that I was laying in bed with a tuna steak pressed against a huge lump on my forehead! It was the third piece of meat.

    DRINK THE WINE WITH DINNER, NOT WHILE PREPARING IT!

    BTW, the pies were fine and the turkey delicious and moist! I wound up in the emergency room with a concussion a couple of days later (the ultimate procrastinator or I didn't want to miss Thanksgiving).

    I still have a lump on my forehead, but it is only noticeable to moi.



    =======================

    Last Thanksgiving I promised everybody a homemade Green Bean Casserole. I have a great recipe for one that is made completely from scratch and my husband and I love it! Would you believe that no one in my family has every had Green Bean Casserole? And we are Americans, I swear! Everyone from my Mother, who loves her veggies, to my Sister, who doesn't cook or eat real food, to my darling Children, were excited to try there first Green Bean Casserole. After all, that is all we see on tv are commercials for Green Bean Casserole at Thanksgiving and Christmas time.

    Did I mention that my sweet Sister does not cook? This is the rule:

    DO NOT LET AMATEURS INTO THE KITCHEN WHEN PREPARING THANKSGIVING DINNER!

    No good can come of it. My Sister insisted that she wanted to help. Apparently she was hungry, and due to her eating issues HAD TO EAT RIGHT NOW! So she tried to help. All she accomplished was that she tried to rush me and I wound up cutting a nasty gash in my left index finger! It was sort of like a pocket in a stuffed pork chop. I grabbed a paper towel and wrapped my finger tightly to stop the spurting blood from getting on our sweet potatoes. It was really quite a bad cut and I was demoralized.

    But the worst thing is that I did not even start the Green Bean Casserole! Since it was made from scratch there was all sorts of slicing that needed to be done and I was just not up for it. I also no longer trusted amateurs to help me.

    So my family was a bit disappointed, but luckily they liked the other food I was able to prepare. I made the Green Bean Casserole a few days later for my husband and I. Perhaps that was the plan all along...

    Yes, I still have the scar and loss of feeling in that finger.


    Oh hon I agree with all the others you are definitely Thanksgiving cooking disabled!! rotfl.gif rotfl.gif Who will be doing the cooking this year? If you are please be very careful!! No slippers or big sharp knives allowed. icon_wink.gif icon_biggrin.gif
    lauralie41
    Sat Oct 13, 2012 4:47 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    I'mPat wrote:
    Some really great stories and I don't know what it is that makes us laugh at other peoples mistakes but I've certainly been having a good giggle. icon_lol.gif


    Pat


    Pat I have been giggling a lot too and I think it might be because we can see ourselves or someone we know in the same situations. icon_smile.gif icon_lol.gif
    lauralie41
    Sat Oct 13, 2012 4:54 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    RéeLani wrote:
    Love these posts! I've only cooked 2 Thanksgiving dinners, and they've gone just fine. I'll share a friend's story that makes me laugh each time I think of it.

    My friend had moved into a new, small, apartment but was still eager to cook Thanksgiving dinner for her family. All went well, but when the turkey came out of the oven (beautifully golden brown) there was nowhere to put the roasting pan; counter space was very limited in this small kitchen. The turkey went onto its platter, and she decided to put the roasting pan on the floor outside her aparment door where it would be out of the way. After dinner came time to wash dishes, and as that was going on someone asked where the turkey pan was. "Oh, it's out in the hall, I'll get it." She went to the hall and lifted the pan to reveal a pan-shaped melted area of carpet!!

    Lesson learned: Don't put a hot pan on cheap nylon carpet icon_smile.gif


    Oopsie! icon_lol.gif I would have never thought about the rug either with trying to get dinner ready for everyone. Did she have to pay to fix the rug?
    CarrolJ
    Mon Oct 22, 2012 1:59 pm
    Food.com Groupie
    When I saw this forum I couldn't resist telling of our the first Thanksgiving we spent with our daughter and her new husband, 27 years ago. They didn't have much money so they rented a tiny, tiny house with no insulation, in Texas. It was wintertime however. The only heat for this house was from the air conditioner which had a 'heat mode'.

    Needless to say, it didn't heat much of anything. My DH and I slept on the floor on an air mattress. However the floor had nothing between it and the ground (no foundation) and you could not only see the ground between the boards of the floor, but nothing prevented the cold air from coming into the room.

    Our son-in-law who was prepared to make the turkey since our daughter was on bed rest due to a difficult pregnancy, had purchase the frozen turkey and placed it in the kitchen sink the day before.

    Of course with the cold air plus being out in the room for less than 10 hours, thawing had not even started.

    We ate our thanksgiving dinner about 11 pm that night, wrapped in blankets. I'll never forget it.

    P. S. They have been married 27 years and have 9 kids.
    I'mPat
    Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:10 pm
    Forum Host
    Yep the cold weather seems to propogate kids, my family are from Scotland and my grandmother had 18 (16 boys and 2 girls).


    Pat
    Chef #2454379
    Tue Oct 23, 2012 4:57 am
    Regular "Line Cook" Poster
    Hi Jasmine Actually this looks hysterical. icon_biggrin.gif
    lauralie41
    Fri Nov 02, 2012 2:07 am
    Food.com Groupie
    CarrolJ wrote:
    When I saw this forum I couldn't resist telling of our the first Thanksgiving we spent with our daughter and her new husband, 27 years ago. They didn't have much money so they rented a tiny, tiny house with no insulation, in Texas. It was wintertime however. The only heat for this house was from the air conditioner which had a 'heat mode'.

    Needless to say, it didn't heat much of anything. My DH and I slept on the floor on an air mattress. However the floor had nothing between it and the ground (no foundation) and you could not only see the ground between the boards of the floor, but nothing prevented the cold air from coming into the room.

    Our son-in-law who was prepared to make the turkey since our daughter was on bed rest due to a difficult pregnancy, had purchase the frozen turkey and placed it in the kitchen sink the day before.

    Of course with the cold air plus being out in the room for less than 10 hours, thawing had not even started.

    We ate our thanksgiving dinner about 11 pm that night, wrapped in blankets. I'll never forget it.

    P. S. They have been married 27 years and have 9 kids.


    Carrol that was a great story! icon_lol.gif Congrats to your DD and DSIL on their 27 years together and 9 kids!
    lauralie41
    Fri Nov 02, 2012 2:10 am
    Food.com Groupie
    I'mPat wrote:
    Yep the cold weather seems to propogate kids, my family are from Scotland and my grandmother had 18 (16 boys and 2 girls).


    Pat


    cold weather - rotfl.gif

    Wow Pat and I thought my DFIL had a huge family with 13 kids. Those poor girls with 16 brothers teasing them. icon_biggrin.gif
    I'mPat
    Fri Nov 02, 2012 6:34 am
    Forum Host
    No not really as my grandmother was a staunch believer that her boys learnt to cook, sew and look after a house for as far as she was concerned no women was maid unless she was getting paid to be so, so it was a case of everyone chipped in and she also took in boarders and yes she cooked and clean for them for after all they were paying her for her services, plus she also ran the family business (scrap merchants).


    Pat
    duonyte
    Fri Nov 02, 2012 3:29 pm
    Forum Host
    Pat,, your grandmother was awesome!
    I'mPat
    Fri Nov 02, 2012 9:20 pm
    Forum Host
    Just wish I had got the chance to know her but she died before I was born but my late dad said I was very much like her.


    Pat
    oceangirl11
    Thu Nov 08, 2012 7:06 pm
    Newbie "Fry Cook" Poster
    I'm sorry that happened! icon_sad.gif
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