Fun thread for August: YOUR STORIES !!!

[Zurie]

This could be -- I hope not -- the last story in this thread.

It's not at all about a horrible meal, just a funny one.

Most of us were in our final year at university. For 6 months a post-graduate student from Italy turned up, an Italian guy called Massimo Mamberti. His lecturers asked my boyfriend (now my DH) and his friends to look after "Maxi", as his name was immediately shortened!

Maxi's English was limited, his Afrikaans non-existent.

Anyway, our boyfriends asked us to a "dinner" prepared by Maxi -- you can almost guess it: he would cook us Spaghetti Bolognese!! At the time it sounded foreign and exotic to us and anyway, we were always hungry.

Maxi made his dish, not with ground meat, but with chopped-up bacon. And with fried onion, tomatoes, garlic, flavorings. It smelled delicious.

As all this took place in students' "el cheapo appts", the cooking was done on a little 2-burner stove -- spaghetti on one hob, sauce on the other. It smelled delightful!

But us girls had a simultaneous attack of the yucks and the screams when we realised he was dishing up his delicious dish in ... an old-fashioned chamber pot!!!!! We yelled and hid out faces in our hands and protested ...

No, the boys (men??) assured us, this chamber pot has never been used, and anyway, they scrubbed it out with antiseptic just to be sure ... (Yeah, like hell, BUT they HAD NO other receptacle for a large amount of food!! )

Anyway, the scent and our hunger was enough to believe them. We scoffed the lot.

Here is a bad, very old photo, VERY posed, of that long-ago night!!! I am on the right, and no, I am only "slugging" from an empty plonk bottle for the photo! Maxi (Massimo) is the ont at the back with his hands spoiling the photo!

[Nif]

Zurie wrote:
This could be -- I hope not -- the last story in this thread.

It's not at all about a horrible meal, just a funny one.

Most of us were in our final year at university. For 6 months a post-graduate student from Italy turned up, an Italian guy called Massimo Mamberti. His lecturers asked my boyfriend (now my DH) and his friends to look after "Maxi", as his name was immediately shortened!

Maxi's English was limited, his Afrikaans non-existent.

Anyway, our boyfriends asked us to a "dinner" prepared by Maxi -- you can almost guess it: he would cook us Spaghetti Bolognese!! At the time it sounded foreign and exotic to us and anyway, we were always hungry.

Maxi made his dish, not with ground meat, but with chopped-up bacon. And with fried onion, tomatoes, garlic, flavorings. It smelled delicious.

As all this took place in students' "el cheapo appts", the cooking was done on a little 2-burner stove -- spaghetti on one hob, sauce on the other. It smelled delightful!

But us girls had a simultaneous attack of the yucks and the screams when we realised he was dishing up his delicious dish in ... an old-fashioned chamber pot!!!!! We yelled and hid out faces in our hands and protested ...

No, the boys (men??) assured us, this chamber pot has never been used, and anyway, they scrubbed it out with antiseptic just to be sure ... (Yeah, like hell, BUT they HAD NO other receptacle for a large amount of food!! )

Anyway, the scent and our hunger was enough to believe them. We scoffed the lot.

Here is a bad, very old photo, VERY posed, of that long-ago night!!! I am on the right, and no, I am only "slugging" from an empty plonk bottle for the photo! Maxi (Massimo) is the ont at the back with his hands spoiling the photo!

Zurie, I just LOVE that photo! So much fun! I can tell that you guys really had a great time and a great meal!

[Jasmine.]

Zurie: What a fun photo and wonderful story! Looks like a fun time was had by all.

[Jasmine.]

Nif wrote:
I have always liked to call my story "The Date From Hell!".

About 23 years ago, before I met my husband, I was recording a singer/guitarist in a recording studio. This guy's name was Steve and he thought he was just the best! Best guitarist, best singer, best "catch"...

After the studio session, we went for drinks on the patio across the street. I wouldn't have gone except for the fact that the guys from the studio came too and they were friends of mine and very protective! He kept asking me for my number but I just laughed it off because I was NOT interested. Well it turns out that he knew an ex-boyfriend of mine and asked him for my number and got it!

After repeated calls, I finally agreed to go out with him since my ex insisted that Steve was a nice guy and he wanted to go to a nice restaurant. Since I didn't want him to know where I lived, I told him that I had some stuff to do at my parents' house and could he please pick me up there? He picked me up in some classic car so my Mom liked him right away. I was still not impressed.

We went to the Keg Steakhouse and had to wait in the lounge until a table became available. I ordered a drink and he ordered.. water. When we got a table he scanned the menu for ages, talking about the prices and how could things cost so much, etc. What did I get myself into?!

Well, the tables are quite close at this restaurant and there were 2 ladies at a table next to us. They ordered steaks and one looked quite rare. Steve decides to loudly discuss the doneness of steaks. "You should always order a steak well done to kill of all the bacteria and bugs that might be in there. I can't imagine getting a steak that isn't cooked through and safe to eat! They shouldn't have steaks on the menu that you can't get cooked well done because it's just not safe" and so on and so on... If I could have crawled under the table, I would have. The ladies, both put their knives down and looked ill!

The waiter came to take our order. Steve carefully orders the cheapest entree on the menu. He goes into a line of questioning with the waiter, making sure that he only gets side dishes that are included in the price.

Time for me to order and this guy's really ticking me off! What do you think I do? I ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, making sure to order filet mignon, the steak that they won't cook more than medium rare. Sides? Oh ya! I'll take a shrimp skewer and maybe we'd like some sautéed mushrooms too? Of course! Steve is shifting in his seat and the ladies next to us are smiling at me! How do I want my steak done, you ask? BLUE RARE, naturally!!! The ladies next to me cracked up! Steve was green!

The rest of the dinner was very awkward - it may have had something to do with the fact that I made sure that the cut side of my steak was facing him at all times. Oops!

But did Steve give up? Noooooo! He took me back to my parents' house and sat there until 2 in the morning talking about himself! I curled up on the couch with a blanket on, my Mom put on her PJ's and housecoat and we yawned repeatedly! Talk about clueless! My Mom calls this story something else. It's "The Thing That Wouldn't Go Home"!

This was the worst dinner experience that I have ever had!

Too funny! I am surprised that he was able to pay for the bill.

[Jasmine.]

So many fun stories, I am happy to "discover" this thread.

I'll share one. My mom is not a good cook. In fact, she can't even boil water. She means well but she has a tendency to leave the kitchen without setting a timer. Don't get me started on her cast iron pan.

One day she decided to make liver and onions for dinner. I took one bite and decided to hide the rest in the seat cushions. Since my job was always to clear the table, I quickly took the hidden meat and fed it to the dog. That experience was horrible enough to make me a vegetarian for 15 years!!

[Zurie]

(Oh dear, someone found this old thread! Must say I read some of the stories again -- so funny!)

Jasmine, I'm not a lamb/beef/pig liver eater either, but I'll eat it if well prepared. Your poor mom's must have been pretty awful! I wonder what happened to the furniture you messed up with the meat??