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Fri Mar 19, 2010 6:53 am

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Well, I'm home after a week at the Global Atheist Convention in Melbourne. It was hectic, stimulating, surreal and great fun.

Respecting this forum's rules against discussing religion, I will restrict my comments to the social aspects.

Mother Kooka and I arrived in Melbourne on Thursday 11 March and were met at the airport by my cousin, Jeanette - a personal manager for a rather famous Melbourne football coach. Jeanette took MK home to stay with her and her mother for the week, while I went in search of my friend Sean the Blogonaut at a terminal a few hundred yards away.

Sean and I shared a taxi to the Hilton where I was staying. Courtesy of my cousin's connections, I was delighted to be given entree to the Executive Lounge which was an enormous help for holding meetings, using the internet, and just getting fed during the Convention.

The atmosphere was incredible and what was most notable was that there seemed to be no hierarchy - professors, celebrities, comedians and authors mingled with us ordinary folk and were happy to stop and have a chat. Several of my friends got to meet 'famous people' just by retreating outside for a smoke! Unfortunately, I don't smoke, but it seems a good activity for those interested in mingling with the rich and famous!

On the evening we arrived we were just chatting in the bar when a very well-known American biologist sauntered over and introduced himself. We all knew who he was - he has the most read science blog on the internet - and were thrilled to meet him. But, he was so laid back and unassuming, we were soon just chatting to him like an old friend and (boldly) making suggestions for additions to his next book!

My favourite celebrity/academic was AC (Anthony) Grayling, a very famous philosopher from Britain.

At the Saturday night Convention dinner, a writer friend of mine asked if I knew of any way he could get something he'd written to AC Grayling. I said we had a mutual friend, and I'd try to get it to him that way. But, when I sat down, I realised that Grayling was just two tables away. Seizing the moment, I went over, introduced myself and asked if he'd be kind enough to read my friend's article.

I was astounded by his response. "I'd be delighted!" he said, "I'll read it on my way home on the plane. Does he have his email on it? I'll send him my comments as soon as I get home."

I then scurried back to my friend and encouraged him to go meet Grayling himself. After some persuasion he did, explaining to Grayling that he reminded him of his late father. Grayling asked about my friend's mother and, when told she was also at the dinner, asked if he could meet her. What an incredible man!

At the end of the Convention, I introduced my friend, Warren, to Grayling. Warren explained that he owned a bookshop and stocked all of Grayling's works. Without prompting Grayling said, "Oh, I'm quite sure I'll be in your area next year. May I come and do a book signing at your store?"

Warren nearly fainted dead away at the prospect of having his hero signing books in his shop! There was quite a lot of fanning down and photo taking following that wonderful surprise.

After the Saturday night dinner, I urgently needed to use a computer to issue a media release but the Executive Lounge was closed. A visiting American couple from Charlotte, NC, invited me to come back to their room and use their computer. When my friend L and I arrived, they were sitting up in bed (fully clothed) and chatted happily to us as we worked. It wasn't until the next day we were told they were a couple who had met online and were spending their honeymoon at the Convention! I felt so bad to have barged into their room at midnight, but they assured me they'd been in Australia for a few days and had had plenty of time to do the honeymoon stuff.

I was delighted to meet up with an author I very much admire, Tanya Levin. Tanya, a social worker, and I met through a mutual friend and have been chatting online, but the Convention was the first opportunity I've had to meet her in person.

2,500 people attended the Convention so it was an absolutely electric atmosphere.

Poor Tanya was so worried about speaking in front of that crowd she spent most of the morning before her presentation being sick in her room - but she did a great job.

On the last night of the Convention, I joined Tanya in the Hilton Bar where she was chatting with a well-known television commentator/panellist who I knew slightly.

We just started talking like old friends, she bought me a drink, and before I knew it we were singing Janis Joplin at the top of our voices, while I thought - "This is surreal. I'm sitting in a bar in Melbourne, singing Janis Joplin with Jane Caro!"

I was thrilled to be asked to write an article on the Convention for a US journal and I'm working on that at the moment.

It was also great to catch up with so many people I've only met online. They were all genuinely lovely - although some were people I would probably never come into contact with in my real life. That was such fun. They were such an eclectic 'left of centre' bunch!

On Sunday night I found myself in a Vietnamese restaurant in the delightfully gaudy Crown Casino in Melbourne - a true testament to bad taste.

The food was fabulous! I had the best, most tender calimari I've ever tasted and a fabulous dish of braised pork belly in caramelised fish sauce. My dinner companions were also amazing. There was a bisexual Goth type web designer from New Zealand - really tall, bald head, dressed in black, huge boots with silver buckles, earring - and the kindest, most gentle person you'd ever hope to meet. There was a long-time internet friend, an incredible intellect, the son of Russian emigrees, who works for a telephone company but exercises his incredible brain power on the internet where he's become such a celebrity he confided, somewhat bashfully, that women he doesn't know send him naked photos! And there was L who earns an absolute motza from erotic websites for women on the net (and no, he hastens to add, he doesn't star in any films - although he's pretty damn gorgeous and I'd certainly pay to see him!). Needless to say, the conversation was scintillating!

The night before the Convention, we braved a Melbourne tram (think of being put inside a tin can and shaken vigorously from side to side!) to Federation Square - a controversial post-modern piece of public architecture. I had hated it when I saw it on TV but absolutely loved it when I saw it for real. Although it is wildly modern, it reminded me strangely of the crooked little houses that line the old 17th century English streets.

We had a beer at an open air table first, then some friends and I retired to a Greek restaurant which was OK, but rather expensive.

I had an entree of fried kefalatori cheese with lemon juice, and a main of Gyros and lemon potatoes which was nice, but not great.

The Saturday night Convention Dinner at Melbourne's cavernous Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre was quite simply stunning - and so it should have been at $100 a head!

There was tapas for entree - a piece of smoked salmon sushi, a goat's cheese tart and something else which I can't recall.

Main course was braised lamb on a bed of gnocchi and it was falling apart tender in a beautiful red wine sauce.

Dessert was a selection of small items, including chocolate tart, and a lemony custardy thing in a glass with blueberries.

For Australians, the entertainment for the night included Craig and Julian from "The Chaser", so you can guess at the hilarity that ensued.

On the Monday after the Convention, MK joined me at the Hilton and we met up with evil cousin Doug who has recently moved to country Victoria (about 2 hours out of Melbourne). We decided to have tapas at the Hilton Bar and it was a wonderful choice.

We chose a cheese and charcuterie platter with artisan breads - absolutely amazingly wonderful! I also ordered some side dishes of battered asparagus with romesco sauce, and home-made potato chips with roasted garlic aioli. It was a truly memorable lunch!

On Monday night, I blanched at paying $25 for a small bottle of wine from the mini-bar, but gave in, and also ordered a smoked salmon bagel from room service.

We flew out on Tuesday, stayed the night in Brisbane and, on Wednesday morning, I slipped out of our friend's apartment and stocked up on cheeses and deli meats so I could recreate the fabulous Hilton lunch at home. I also managed to recreate the asparagus by crumbing and frying it which was much easier than I thought it would be.

So we're home now - tired and me with a deadline to meet now - but it was a great experience and I met so many wonderful, intelligent, good-hearted people who just want to make a positive difference to the world. I think it will be a full time job keeping up with them all!

If anyone wants any more specific info on the Convention you can of course PM me.

And kdlpmum - I'm sorry, I didn't get to meet Uncle Phil, although he was there. Maybe next time. My friend Tanya did say she was going to introduce me to Bessie Bardot but I missed out on that too - I was just so busy!