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    You are in: Home / Community Forums / Community Cafe / Woulda, shoulda..............just a little rant
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    Woulda, shoulda..............just a little rant

    Becky in Wisconsin
    Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:03 am Groupie
    I had an encounter this evening with someone from my past that had her "facts" wrong about something that happened 8 years ago, and I let her get under my skin, and I stooped to her level. Long story short, I'm mad at myself for (A) giving up my power and allowing her to treat me as she did. And (B) as I'm sitting at home after our "run-in", I think of things that should have been said. Lesson learned, I will never give anyone that power over me again! My spirit has definitely been broken by what happened, but st least I learned from it. I can be described as "naive", but I really do try to find the good in most people. I see things others don't. And as good of a trait that may sound, it is also a curse. I've gotten better at not allowing myself to be taken advantage of, and standing up for myself. They say time heals all wounds, but I think it may heal the wounds, but it sometimes leaves scar tissue for you to deal with. Any-who-ha, I digress! I will be fine, because I am the "better person"'.thanks everyone for allowing me to vent.
    Chicagoland Chef du Jour
    Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:03 am Groupie
    Becky in Wisconsin wrote:
    I can be described as "naive", but I really do try to find the good in most people. I see things others don't. And as good of a trait that may sound, it is also a curse.

    Boy, this sounds like me. This trait, truly a blessing & a curse, indeed. Neither is a bad thing.

    Anywho, more importantly, do not let he break your spirit Becky, that's when you give up your power. She is NOT worthy!
    Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:09 am Groupie
    Chicagoland Chef du Jour wrote:

    Anywho, more importantly, do not let he break your spirit Becky, that's when you give up your power. She is NOT worthy!

    Well said.
    Stella Mae
    Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:44 am Groupie
    When people have to have the last word or are intent on putting you in your place, it is good to recognize that the problem is not you -- it is their unconscious feelings of unworthiness. It is easy to get caught up in the emotion of the moment and devolve to their level, but if we are very secure in ourselves, then we can just smile and say, "Okay".
    mums the word
    Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:53 pm Groupie
    I think we all have times when we say "why didn't I think of saying..." when we have a confrontation. I'm great at comeback lines way after the fact. Since I avoid confrontation at all costs I am not good at it! Hopefully this person feels good about herself after "going off" on you. If that is what makes her tick then she should be pleased with herself.

    Be proud that you were the better person as that is much more difficult to do!

    Anyways we love you here so na na na na na na to her!
    Mon Mar 18, 2013 4:37 pm Groupie
    I have gotten really good at saying "I am not continuing this conversation with you. I am done." Then I walk away. If they want to keep talking they can go right ahead but they are not the boss of me and I am not going to listen to them. I have enough stuff in my head, I don't need them in there!
    K9 Owned
    Mon Mar 18, 2013 4:50 pm
    Forum Host
    As others have said - they have self esteem problems that have nothing to do with you. It's rarely worth putting someone in their place imo - the high ground is the best road to take.
    Sorry he/she upset you grouphug.gif
    Mon Mar 18, 2013 5:42 pm Groupie
    Awww Becky I'm sorry you're feeling deflated, but as everyone has said, that person builds herself up, by tearing you down. She's the one with a problem since she hasn't let go of the past. Write her off and don't look back. grouphug.gif
    Chicagoland Chef du Jour
    Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:37 pm Groupie
    IWO, mean people suck
    Thu Mar 21, 2013 8:55 am
    Forum Host
    thats awful - I have gone through something similar just a few days back but my problem is its my daughter and thats even worse. We always think of what we should have said. sometimes its so so tough. stand proud!
    Ann Marie F
    Fri Mar 22, 2013 5:12 pm Groupie
    Your spirit hasn't been broken, just dinged a little. Scar tissue means you've healed. You'll be fine. She, on the other hand, is damaging her own spirit by carrying that venom inside of her for 8+ years.
    Leggy Peggy
    Fri Mar 22, 2013 5:56 pm Groupie
    Becky, you sure are the better person and I'm so glad you realise that.
    The person from the past has control issues and a nasty mean streak.
    So sorry they took a swipe at you, but it sounds like you will heal fast.
    You know -- we all know -- the person from the past isn't worth the bother.
    Becky in Wisconsin
    Fri Mar 22, 2013 6:37 pm Groupie
    Chicagoland Chef du Jour wrote:
    IWO, mean people suck

    WOW - I say that all the time. Great minds, great minds. icon_biggrin.gif
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